My handbag

It took me hours to fish out coins from my bag in the morning. I therefore decided to do away with all the things that I don’t need. The only problem is that it proved to be harder than I thought.

I once read in the paper that a woman’s handbag is one of the most germs infested items ever! Before you go calling my handbag names, I’d like to remind you that this is a library, an office, a bathroom, a kitchen, a chemist, a cosmetics and a wardrobe all under one roof, or is it under a single piece of clothing?

The wardrobe part definitely holds the lion’s share. There’s a pair of extra shoes and three scarves. The number may vary depending on the weather or my mood in the morning. The shoes can go but the scarves will stay.

I also have a small library; a novel (they were two yesterday but I realized that as much as women are known to multitask, that’s too much), three note books and two exercise books. I don’t know why I need all these, but as an explanation, I write stuff on the book I fish out first, making it hard to know where I wrote what. I also carry two pens. So, they all stay…

For the office, there is a manual for a system, a design document, a copy of a contract, and some assignments. Some of these will have to go.

There’s also a bathroom in here comprising of lotions, Vaseline, a needle, a thread, a mirror, a comb (regardless of the fact that my hair is plaited), tweezers and an extra hair band. One would drown in the rolls of tissue paper that are in this bag. There are also girl stuff; two bullets and about five of the others. I don’t remember packing all these!!

A phone, its charger, ear phones, a purse, two pairs of extra earings and two handkerchiefs will remain.

There’s also a chemist for I can see painkillers and a cream by the name clob-b.

There’s a deficiency though, in the kitchen and the cosmetics departments represented by a bottle of water and perfume respectively. Those ones will stay.

Wait a minute… Are these last semesters’ results?!!!?

I can also see a church programme; two weeks old and two empty paper bags. Just in case…

This was supposed to be a clean up but I ended up realizing that am missing some important items all the same. I’ll need a pack of razor blades and a torch… just in case…

That is why it’s a criminal offence to look into a woman’s handbag; not because there are things we don’t want you to see, but because of your own safety. You can easily get lost in here……

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