What I did not Learn

If there’s one thing college taught me, it was to push my way through any situation. Literally push my way through.  I learnt that life’s not a bed of roses; everyone for themselves and God for us all; and most importantly, I learnt that when life pushes you to your knees,
you’re in a perfect position to praygrab it by the nuts and punch it in the face!

I’m an early bird. And early birds wake up early.  But as I told you before, I live in a country side set up where we have cows and coffee and potatoes and bananas and all that in the farm…

This explains why I have to wake up early and milk the cows, go the farm to get some coffee beans then use the milk and coffee to make our breakfast which is usually accompanied by roasted bananas or boiled cassava. As for the sugar, we don’t have sugarcane but I’ve since realized that Napier grass canes works just fine. It’s a little bitter, but you hardly notice.

I’m kidding…

The above was my failed attempt to try and explain why I always end up being late to work. The truth is, you’d have to take the bed outside and proceed to pour cold water on me to get me out of the bed.

And this particular day was no exception…

After dragging myself out of bed, I showered, dressed, undressed, dressed again, undressed again …then dressed the fifth time before taking my handbag and rushing outside. I did not even have time for breakfast.

But lucky for me, it only takes me 30 or so minutes to get to town. But by that time, I was already late and I still had to take a KBS to Upperhill where I work. When I got to Kencom, I immediately identified my bus, but there was a big problem. You see, the passengers were so many! There were about 50 men, women and children fighting their way into the bus.

With a PHD and over four years of experience in Bachelors of Life, Pushing and Shoving, I knew that this would be a walk in the park. Unlike other people, I knew that I’d have to approach the bus door at an angle; I’d have to step on muddy feet, squeeze under sweater armpits, or even bite a wrist or two if I had to.



And squeeze I did!  By the time I got into the bus, I was 2.3kgs smaller and smelt of at least four different kinds/odours of sweat.

But it was all good now; I was inside the bus. Mission accomplished successfully! I did it so well that I even managed to get two empty seats and I sat near the window.

I was too busy, searching inside my bags for coins, to see a lady, probably older than my mum sit next to me. Her hand bag was all over the place and she placed a large yellow envelope on my laps smiling as she requested me sweetly, ‘Could you hold it for me for a Second?’

And I took it. It was her x-ray film (or whatever they call it.)

And then it suddenly hit me…

Cess,

i.            Those who were going to work are already in their offices

ii.            You share the route with people who’re going to the national Hospital

iii.            And you just pushed sick people or

iv.            Depressed people who are going to visit their sick relatives and friends in the hospital
‘KU, you taught me many things, but you forgot to teach me that there’s time to push, and there’s time to sit back and just watch.

Or maybe we were taught… I just wasn’t present that particular day.’

12 comments:

  1. Patience is a virtue, welcome back you were greatly missed! :-)

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  2. Despite your biting wrists and stepping on muddy feet I believe that you are in essence a sentimental soul. As for sweaty arm-pits just blame the recent hot weather that we have been enjoying. Welcome back - As Ghafla! said you have been missed

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  3. Thanx so much Woolie. I was starting to think that I'm a terrible human being...

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  4. Thank you Ghafla! And I missed you too., :-)

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  5. Now you know, you've learnt the 'stepping on someone's head' way...

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  6. Looool! Maybe it wasn't meant to be funny but I'm so entertained. 2 main reasons:

    I can so totally relate to dressing 5 times even though already late ..

    That bus experience I have lived 37 times. 1 day I lost my phone while at it and was sooooooooooooooo very sad. Now when need be, I push & shove with 1 arm while the other cradles my handbag like a nuclear reactor that no one can get near!

    Great read & welcome back!

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  7. True true. ;-) I should know better, right?

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  8. Hehehehe... You're so much worse than me Spinster. Like a nuclear reactor, huh? lol. I'm sorry about your phone.

    But that is exactly what Nairobi Makes us. Shoving maniacs!

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  9. hahaha, I have to laugh. Campus does teach us to be tough especially when everyone is trying to clear fees balances just before exams.. so I cant really blame you for pushing around sick people, though I should

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  10. Hehehe... Stylifiq, it really does, right? Thats when the dudes drop their gentlemanness and break your ribs. College!

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