The gum Story

Remember how I told you that I have this very bad gum chewing habit? I do. I can chew, and chew, and chew, and then chew some more.

I happened to attend a workshop at Intercontinental Hotel yesterday and as usual, I brought with me some gum. Actually, I’m sure I started chewing it all the way from home. For your information, chewing increases your attention; I was very attentive. But that’s just a by the way.

The whole thing (I’m calling it thing coz it was not really a workshop but a launch/award ceremony of some sort) started a bit late. We were therefore to take refreshments before the function could kick off.

I didn’t feel like taking anything. I therefore chewed my now sugarless gum throughout the ceremony. And as a nutritionist would tell you, chewing makes you hungry. It has something to do with tricking the mind into believing you’re about to swallow some food which automatically prepares your stomach for a feast.

Before long, I was starving. I noiselessly left the hall and went looking for something to eat.

There were a few people outside. It being a function for the sector I work in, most people were from related organizations. I spotted a driver to my former place of work in Nakuru and decided that I would join is table once I decide on what to eat.

But first, I had to get rid of the gum. And I could not find a bin. I therefore took my serviette, stuck the chewed gum to one corner and proceeded to the table.

There were two more people at the table; a male and a female. After the driver had left, they introduced themselves and we started talking as we ate. The lady went for a few more snacks as the handsome man asked me which organization I was with.

‘I’m with XYZ but I work at ABC,’ I told him.
He proceeded to tell me that he comes to my place of work like everyday. How come he’s never seen me? He’ll definitely look for me the next time he comes…

By the time the lady came back, I was done eating.

The guy casually asked, ‘Where are the serviettes? Can I use yours?’
Before I could open my mouth to protest, he’d already picked it up and used it to take a samosa from the lady’s plate.

It was rude of him but seeing that I looked classy and professional, I’m sure he thought to himself, ‘What the hell?’

If the gum stuck to his samosa, I did not wait to see. I disappeared from there so fast my heels produced smoke!


  1. Hahaha... I wonder if it ended up in his mouth...
    Try taking a video of yourself chewing then watch it, you will quit chewing. Worked for me chewing then watch it, you will quit chewing. Worked for me

  2. Wow that was real funny - bad luck to the poor man. I suppose your habit is not too harmful since you chew sugar-free. Consider my neighbour's mum. She chewed Indian tobacco - the type you slip under your lip. She would chew and chew all day long and at intervals she spat out a straw coloured liquor which burned out the grass by her door. The doctor warned her that she'd lose all her teeth by age fifty and she gave up......just like that

  3. He he.. Cess, beneath all that class is a gum chewing lass :-)

  4. Hehe... I'm guilty as charged. :-)

  5. I freak out just thinking about what happened after I left. Lucky for me, I was not there to witness. Gff!

  6. Ngai woolie, tobacco chewing sound gross. Thank God she stopped. As for me, I need such a scary doctor to lie to me.

  7. ur posts are hilarious, rib cracking infact

  8. Wish to see the look at his face when you meet again... may be he'll be too friendly to take off till his "heels produce smoke".

  9. Thanks Peter. I was at your's and saw that you've done so much. Where have I been? I like the new design. :-)

  10. Don't even remind me. If he comes to the office, I swear I'll hide under my desk. No kidding.


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