It started last weekend. I was outside my house basking and laughing with my neighbor and her beautiful daughter when you took the liberty to go into my house and do the inconceivable. Well, I’m exaggerating a little… to tell you the truth, I was a tad happy. But you belong to my landlady. And you knew better than do that in my house. That was Saturday.
Sunday I went to the salon. You did not see me the whole day. I know you must have missed me real bad. I know you did.
I can tell because you were at my door Monday morning, at seven. You knocked and I let you in. You did your thing and I had to throw you out after; I have to work, you know…
Tuesday the same thing, only this time, you refused to get out. I left you and went to work. I told my neighbor to let you out when you were done. I felt that we now needed to talk. You had to find someplace else.
How was I to know that she’d forget? And was that the best way to pay me back after all I did for you?
When I came back in the evening, I immediately knew that something was wrong. Everything was everywhere. I could not find you.
I know, you’re just a hen, but letting you lay eggs in my house was very generous on my part. How do you go crapping on my clothes, TV and the kitchen table? Are you out of your mind?
That was not even the worst part. There were cookies in the house. You could have eaten those! God knows I hate cookies, biscuits, and other sweet things (apart from chocolates). But what did you do? You took a dump on the cookies, and ate my salad. And my bananas!! What kind of a chicken eats bananas and salad?!?
I can’t start to explain what you put me through!
And now guess what, I was planning to give up the eggs so you could do whatever you guys do to make chicks, but you can now forget about it!
I’ll eat every single one of them!
And just so we’re clear, you’re not allowed anywhere near my house ever again!